


that's not what you were saying last night

by deathandnetflix



Series: that's not what you said last night: klance/shiro gives the talk [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bottom Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, No Angst, No Smut, Oneshot, Shiro (Voltron) is So Done, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), Top Lance (Voltron)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14726042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathandnetflix/pseuds/deathandnetflix
Summary: Shiro thinks Keith and Lance are fighting."That's not what you said last night" moment between Keith, Lance, and the rest of the paladins because there aren't nearly enough of these in the world. Space mice included because I love them.Excerpt:“Well, from this moment on, no pinning me down!” Keith yells.“That’s not what you were saying last night!” Lance shouts back.Everybody falls silent as the last line sinks in.“Wait wait wait,” Pidge says suspiciously. “Not that I don’t love me a little Keith and Lance drama, but repeat that last line for the people in the back?”Lance, bright red by now, is glaring at Keith. “This is your fault.”Oneshot





	that's not what you were saying last night

Keith and Lance are fighting-again.  
  
Shiro sighs, pressing his fingers into his temples. He’s dealt with so much since he was catapulted into space with a 10000 year old alien princess, five robot cats, and her mustachioed advisor (which is still pretty mind boggling to all of the paladins). Being dubbed Space Dad™ by Lance, he can tolerate. Having Lance convince everybody else to call him Space Dad: meh. Having Pidge tinker with his arm is still within his comfort zone. Even training with Coran and having the Altean regale him with tales of his glory days is okay (to an extent). Honestly, the only thing he can’t tolerate is that little shit eating Slav.  
But this-the constant argument between the boys is creating a tense atmosphere on the castle, and everybody recognizes it. It has to stop at some point, right?  
  
Shiro shakes out his shoulders, preparing Space Dad™ Mode before entering the common room.  
  
Sure enough, Lance is shoving a yelling Keith and Keith is insulting Lance at a mile a minute. Pidge is sitting on the couch and inhaling a box of popcorn, eyes ping-ponging between the two hotheads. Allura is watching confusedly, probably trying to sort through the slew of rather colorful, very much inappropriate insults the boys are flinging at each other. Hunk, ever the placid one, has in earplugs and is happily humming in the kitchen as he bakes a fresh batch of cookies.  
  
Burying your head in the sand. Shiro wishes he could do that.  
  
“You said that it was okay!”  
“When the _hell _did I say that!”__  
“At the beginning of training, Keith! Quiznak!”  
“Language!” Coran squawks from behind the door. The space mice are perched on his shoulder, squeaking with every outburst.  
  
_'Coward,' _Shiro thinks. He separates the two boys, silencing them with a stern look. “What’s going on here?”__  
  
“I pinned Keith down during sparring and now he’s all mad because he thinks that was against the rules but it wasn’t because he _said _it was allowed at the start of the match!” Lance screeches. Pidge chomps on a piece of popcorn, watching raptly. Behind them, Hunk lets out a happy “ooh!” as he pulls out a tray of cookies from the oven.__  
“I never said that! I just said, ‘Hey Lance, want to go train?’ and I walked off without saying ANYTHING ELSE, LANCE,” Keith yells.  
“We have rules in the training deck! You’re allowed to pin someone down and practice grappling!”  
“There are no rules!”  
“Then I’m entitled to interpret it however I want! God, Keith!” Lance screeches.  
“Well, from this moment on, no pinning me down!” Keith yells.  
“That’s not what you were saying last night!” Lance shouts back.  
  
Everybody falls silent as the last line sinks in.  
  
“Wait wait wait,” Pidge says suspiciously, setting her popcorn to the side. “Not that I don’t love me a little Keith and Lance drama, but repeat that last line for the people in the back?”  
Lance, bright red by now, is glaring at Keith. “This is your fault.”  
“How the hell is it my fault? You’re the one who said-”  
“Ssh-zip!” Lance says frantically, flapping his hands and cutting his eyes in the direction of the rest of the paladins, who are staring at them raptly. Even Hunk has paused his music to stare at Lance and Keith.  
  
“I just want to say that this is better than any of the Altean soap operas we have in the castle,” Pidge says, smiling terribly.  
  
“Are you two...mating?” Allura asks, eyes widening.  
“No!” Keith and Lance yell at the same time. They don’t look at each other.  
“We’re just…” Lance says, trailing off.  
“You two are using protection, though-”  
“SHUT _UP, SHIRO.” ___  
  
Shiro shuts up, contemplating the possibility of Keith and Lance becoming a couple. He could have sworn they were “rivals,” and truth be told, Shiro hadn’t been observing them at night very closely.  
  
But they’re two hormonal, impulsive teenage boys who have a lot of pent-up emotion.  
  
And it _is _a confined ship.__  
  
_And _the bedrooms are equipped with noise cancelers so people in the hallway can’t hear you.__  
  
Shiro feels like an idiot. It’s the perfect grounds to hook up with someone and keep it secret for who knows how long.  
  
“How long has this...bedroom thing been going on?” he asks.  
“Bedroom thing?” Keith says incredulously.  
“You know, the hanky panky. The thing you do with another person in a bed,” Shiro says, making vague gestures at them. “How long?”  
They both avoid looking at each other as Lance mumbles, “Six months.”  
  
“Holy crow, six months?” Pidge says in disbelief. “Pay up, Hunk.”  
Hunk sadly hands her the entire batch of cookies.  
“You guys had a fucking _betting pool _on how long it was going to take us to hook up?” Lance screeches.__  
“Yep,” Pidge says shamelessly.  
“My cookies,” Hunk says sadly, staring down at his empty oven mitts.  
  
“Whatever. I’m going to my room,” Keith huffs, walking out.  
“So am I,” Lance says. “I mean, my-my, uh, own room. Not that I was...going to Keith’s,” he adds awkwardly.  
“Lance,” Pidge calls, stopping him just as he’s about to leave.  
“What do you want?” he replies irritably.  
“Does this mean you top Keith during-”  
“NO,” Shiro interjects, slapping a hand over Pidge’s mouth. “Lance, I’m happy for you, but use protection and-”  
“OH MY GOD, SHIRO,” Lance shrieks, running out. “And yes, Pidge, I top! Is that a problem?”  
  
“Shut up, Lance!” Keith yells from down the hall.  
“Oh, I’ll make you shut up!”  
“LANCE!”  
  
Shiro stands in the middle of the common room as Coran comforts the traumatized space mice, Allura shakes her head confusedly to go back to navigating, and Hunk slumps over next to a satisfied Pidge, wondering aloud when his life got so complicated.

__

_____ _

____

____

__

And he’s wondering how his life morphed into a Space Dad’s when he finds Keith’s shirt outside of Lance’s door and his first thought is _it’s not even folded. _  
And he’s eternally grateful for the noise cancelers. Every single day.__

**Author's Note:**

> And then they had to explain how humans hook up to Allura and Coran, who are both repulsed and weirdly fascinated.
> 
> Bookmark! Comment! Kudos!


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